I begin and end each day by lying to myself.
At night it’s because I’m going to bed too damn late and in the morning it’s because I’m getting up too damn early.
This is going to come as a huge surprise to you, but having kids and owning a company can be pretty challenging. When we had only Allison our lives were tiring, but we managed to get by without a huge hiccup to lifestyle. Of course you stop going out as much and you begin creating a life with a family, which is much different than life as just a couple. But things really kick in when you have a second. With one kid and two adults, activities can simply revolve around that one kid. The kid is sleeping? Well then the two adults in the house had better be quiet. The kid wants to eat? I guess we can have an early dinner, we’re both adults. We can handle that.
But the second kid? He doesn’t give a fuck. So now you’re trying to create patterns that work with all 4 of your lives. Let me tell you how easy that is. My favorite part is when the kids begin to explore their independence. These patterns I speak of become the very first thing that they realize they can push against. “Look honey, I know that it’s my job to create routines and rules and allow you to grow by pushing against those things BUT GODDAMMIT SIT AT THE TABLE AND EAT YOUR FOOD.”
The greatest thing Katie and I ever did was to create a strict bedtime ritual that ends with both kids in bed at the same time, 8pm. And for the past year or so they’ve been really great about going to bed each night (once we removed Allison’s mid day nap). Once they’re in bed at 8pm, it’s mommy and daddy time. It’s the first time all day that either of us have had the chance to sit down and chill. Often times we’ll spend the first hour just catching up, downloading on each other how our days went, what’s coming up and what we have to understand about schedules. And then maybe we’ll read books or watch a show together. We’ve each got our separate shows, she likes watching Scandal and hate watching The Batchelor, and I love basketball or Marc Maron. We also watch shows together of course, right now we’re in the middle of Parenthood.
Katie’s better at going to sleep at a reasonable time, when she feels tired, she heads to the bedroom. But I’m always a bit more hesitant to go, I feel like this is the only time I get and can I just stretch it out a bit more? This leads me to a 10:30 or 11:00 bedtime, and of course I’ve got to read my book before I can go to sleep!
I lay down in bed and I think to myself, “ugh, I’m going to be so tired tomorrow. Tomorrow night, I’m going to bed early!” And then the alarm goes off and I’m too damn tired to get up, until I convince myself that “I’ve got a gap after lunch and before my 2pm meeting, I’m going to sneak a nap in.” Neither of those things happen, but I always feel better about going down at night and getting up in the morning if I’m convinced that it’s true. “I didn’t do it yesterday, but today’s the day.”